No better place to start ---
Phil Cook's classic
Abused Men
The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence

Phil does an excellent job of walking through the statistics and studies, and brings it home with the point that the actual percentages are not important. What is important is that there are a lot of battered men out there, and they are being ignored.

The strength of the book, is in the compelling and convincing personal stories.

The book is very pro-active. He outlines clearly and effectively what these men need if we are to help them and if we are to have a truly gender-neutral domestic violence response system that meets the needs of people who are victims of domestic violence.

• Reviews
• Article by Phil Cook based on the book
• Excerpt

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Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder
by Paul T. Mason, MS, Randi Kreger

The book that's the basis for our Is She "Crazymaking"? page.

A reader says:

This is an excellent work. I had been in a relationship with someone with BPD traits for 4 years Each time she goes from rage to distancing herself and then showing me extreme love, I always thought may be I misunderstood her. I knew I was doing everything right but I still blamed myself.

Thanks to this book, I was able to put a name to the behavior. It taught me that I was not doing anything wrong. It taught me that no matter what I might have done, the result would have been the same.

By educating me about BPD, I was able to make an informed decision about the relationship. Thank goodness, now I am free of the emotional pain and abuse I have been through. Now I have taken back my life. Yes, it was a painful decision but I know it will go away with time. The emotional abuse I've been taking would have been for ever.

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It's Not OK Anymore
Your Personal Guide to Ending Abuse, Taking Charge, and Loving Yourself
by Greg Enns and Jan Black

This is one of the books that are the basis for our What is Abuse? page. While its focus is on men who are abusive, the man who wrote the material for our page had no difficulty applying it to women who are abusive.

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When She Was Bad
Violent Women & the Myth of Innocence
by Patricia Pearson

• Review
• Kirkus Review, customer comments

Synopsis:
Our culture, argues award-winning journalist Patricia Pearson, is in denial of women's innate capacity for aggression. When She Was Bad offers a fearless and timely look at female violence, as fascinating and thought-provoking as it is controversial.

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Cathy Young
Ceasefire
Why Women and Men Must Join Forces to Achieve True Equality

Synopsis
A "dissident feminist" links feminist advocacy to the growing gender antagonism in politics, society, and culture--and proposes in its place a new focus on equality for both sexes.

Cathy Young's articles on MenWeb:

• No excuse for domestic violence. Period.
• Book rebuts divorced dad myths
• Do fathers have the edge in divorce?
• How Victimized Are Divorcing Women?

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