by Bart Hauph
We get so many books in the office that we have instituted new criteria to quantify and shorten the book-review process. Books are awarded points as follows:
Based on these criteria, the book of the month is Hunting is Real Men’s Work, which artfully ties together the last two themes on our criteria list. Because the book is brief, we present it in its entirety.
John Bly and his friend toiled up the hill, sweat adding new patterns to their camouflage uniforms as they dragged up the steep hillside with an ice chest between them. The half-keg was getting heavy.
"I can’t wait ‘till we get to the top of this hill, man, so we can tap into this cool, cool mead!"
"I know what you mean. A brew would sure taste good! I don’t know if I can take any more. I’m not as jung as I used to be."
As they finally crested the hilltop and sat in the shadow of the oak tree, Robert moaned, "My feet are killing me!"
"What arch type are they? I need arch support when I’m out in the woods being a man!"
"I don’t think it’s the arch type. I think the boot doesn’t have a deep enough sole."
"All this talk about feet reminds me of a poem."
I’m a poet, and I know it,
My feet are long fellows.
"Ugh!"
"Shhh! I think I hear something"
Both men silently raised their AK-47s, slipped off the safeties and put the weapons on automatic fire. Just then a four-point buck came into view. They opened fire. The staccato drumming of the rounds filled the air.
"Wow! Did you see that sucker drop?"
"Yeah. Not much left, is there? Good thing I like hamburger."
"Well, we’d better bring the horse up. If we can tear him away from his fodder. I hate to use that back road; after the last rain, it’s a real mudder."
"Hey, that reminds me of that old Alan Sherman song. Remember it?"
So the men walked down the road, singing "Hello Mudder, Hello Fodder, here I am at Camp Grenader ..."
We will award a prizes for the essays which, like this, capture the real flavor of Men’s Work. First prize is a free issue of M.E.N. Magazine. Last prize is a year’s subscription to M.E.N. Magazine.