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Our Schools and "Attention Different" Boys

The Challenge of ADD

A Chat with Expert George T. Lynn

 

George T. Lynn is the author of Survival Strategies for Parenting Your ADD Child: Dealing With Obsessions Compulsions, Depression, Explosive Behavior, and Rage (order on-line)


George T. Lynn

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Survival Strategies for Parenting Your ADD Child

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Talking Back to Ritalin: What Doctors Aren't Telling You About Stimulants for Children
by Dr. Peter R. Breggin
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Letter From a Learning Disabled Kid. 15-year-old Launches World-Class Web Site to Help Others.





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An controversial analysis of the true cause of Attention Deficit Disorder. Based on personal experience and years of medical practice and research, Scattered is a groundbreaking book that explodes the conventional wisdom that A.D.D. is a genetically based disorder, declaring instead that its roots are environmental. Dr. Gabor Maté, a family physician and himself an A.D.D. sufferer, asserts that A.D.D. originates in infancy as a response to conditions that fail to provide a necessary degree of emotional or physical security. Financial problems, marital strife, job stress, and substance abuse can all create an environment that may trigger A.D.D.
 

Are our schools equipped to handle "attention different" boys who act out or curse in class? That was the subject of a recent chat with expert George T. Lynn, author of Survival Strategies for Parents of ADD Kids.

Here's the continuation of our transcript of our recent chat with expert George Lynn:

Host GeorgeLynn says:

There are several attractive naturopathic alternatives to pharmacology

Kaitlin© says:

i just returned to work

Kaitlin© says:

well wolf mine go private and it doesnt help that much

chrisa says:

what are they George?

wolf2000 says:

specially for ADHD?

Maxx says:

Mr. Lynn, my son 11yrs. old is classified learning disabled. He has outbursts of anger and I go over to the school to help. They know of his problem, but seem to want to treat him like a criminal. He swears and sometimes knocks his desk over.

baby36 says:

you are lucky you are able to do that babbette but some parents can't afford to

Kaitlin© says:

no the one in town is a half hour away and is 3000 a year

Host GeorgeLynn says:

And we are in a time of much greater understanding of how to reduce stress and promote wellness all the way around. this helps a lot

mls says:

My son is 14 been on Ritalin since the age of 7 It definitly has made a difference for us!!

babbette says:

i spend big money every year to have my son in a private school, goin without lots, but worth it , they really try hard

TOMMY says:

violence should not be tolerated

Kaitlin© says:

sometimes ADD kids dont think before they act

TOMMY says:

unlike littleton?

Host GeorgeLynn says:

One of my favorite models is Howare Gardner’s apporach to multiple intelligences..building schools on that model are great for ADD's

Host GeorgeLynn says:

They tend to be high in visual, creative, musical, and tactile intelligence. Some are very athletic.

mls says:

I think that a privateschool is too structured and alot is expected of the kids which can lead to a high frustration level for the ADHD kids

Host Bert_MSN says:

Gardiner's model? Possible to sum that up in a couple of sentences?

Kaitlin© says:

i agree mls

Kaitlin© says:

but the only other alternative for me is homeschooling

Host GeorgeLynn says:

Gardener s model is a. Find out what he is good at and b. Teach to that intelligence

TOMMY says:

good idea~!

Host Bert_MSN George says in his book he tried private school .. didn't help his son ... back in public schools, teachers working with Gregory worked well ...

baby36 says:

ADD kids need someone to always be there to listen to them , be patient with them and praise them for any little thing that they do

Host GeorgeLynn says:

Homeschooling is an option if you can afford it. In this state (WA) homeschoolers get a lot of support from the system

chrisa says:

thats true baby

Host Bert_MSN says:

An individual approach tailored to the gifts each kid has ... I LIKE it!

mls says:

yes but I dont have the patience for homeschooling I have a very hard time getting him to do his homework when he does remember to bring it home!

wolf2000 says:

A private school especially for ADHD children, with the curiculum designed for them not the average

babbette says:

actually, some things that my sons sachool really impress me, he is 6 and for a unit the kids did on the heart and circulatory system, they actually braught in a real cow and chicken heart. the kids were fascinated, they actually got to touch and see

Kaitlin© says:

mls good point

ML-Explorer says:

doesn't every child need praise and someone to listen to them????

chrisa says:

So what about that new law that got passed??

Host Bert_MSN says:

Our Special Guest tonight is George T. Lynn, author of Survival Strategies for Parenting Your ADD Child. The topic is how well are our schools serving "attention different" boys, and what can we do about it.

Host GeorgeLynn says:

CHADD is also a good resource for homework hints and class adaptations

mls says:

It takes alot of bribbing to get it done

babbette says:

yes but most kids will remember praise a little longer

baby36 says:

true they do explore but ADD kids need a little extra

Host GeorgeLynn says:

Look for little things and praise them. Kids grow from noticing the positive in themselves. Period., That is so true

Host GeorgeLynn says:

ADD kids grow up to take so many hits for being different their self esteem can be in the pits

JackGerardi says:

George, are there signs of "untreated" ADD in adults? Those of us who might have been as kids, but were considered "bad" before there accepted diagnosis?

mls says:

Anyone ever read or see a lecture by John Taylor?

wolf2000 says:

When you say teach to that intelligence, do you mean, teach visual to a visually oriented person..etc?

Host GeorgeLynn (~GeorgeLynn@216.192.36.33) has left the conversation.

babbette says:

i grew up thinking i was crazy

JackGerardi says:

opps!

Host Bert_MSN says:

Oops! Looks like our Special Guest got "moofed"!

babbette says:

i couldnt seem to organize a thaught long enogh to deal with it

JackGerardi says:

Then I'll ask anyone: are there signs of "untreated" ADD in adults? Those of us who might have been as kids, but were considered "bad" before there accepted diagnosis?

Host Bert_MSN says:

Our Special Guest tonight is George T. Lynn, author of Survival Strategies for Parenting Your ADD Child. The topic is how well are our schools serving "attention different" boys, and what can we do about it.

wolf2000 says:

hmmm, day dream a lot, lost without the daytimer??

wolf2000 says:

needs lots of lists??

Host Bert_MSN says:

Unfortunately, our guest just got "moofed" !!! He'll be back in a monent ... I HOPE!

Host Bert_MSN says:

Jack I think there are a LOT of untreated ADD walking around out there!

JackGerardi says:

Wolf, That's me!!

Host Bert_MSN says:

Me, for one ... until I started reading about it a few years ago ...

mls says:

anyone with teenager with ADHD?

Host Bert_MSN says:

A book Driven to Distraction -- for adult ADDs.

GeorgeLynn (~GeorgeLynn@216.192.38.46) has joined the conversation.

chrisa says:

Again anybody familiar with the new law?

mls says:

Helping your hyperactive/Attention Deficit Child by John Taylor is also a good resource book!!

JackGerardi says:

No chrisa. 'what is it ?

GeorgeLynn says:

I'm back

Kava says:

what new law??

Maxx says:

Thought I fell into a pretty interesting conversation. My son has a learning disability. Noone will let me cure it.

chrisa says:

wb George

JackGerardi says:

Welcome back!

Host GeorgeLynn says:

Thanks

Host Bert_MSN says:

George, our word for it on MSN is "moofed" -- sorry about that !!!

mls says:

What new law?

Host GeorgeLynn says:

Where are we?

Host Bert_MSN says:

George, Maxx just said ...

Maxx says:

Thought I fell into a pretty interesting conversation. My son has a learning disability. Noone will let me cure it.

Host GeorgeLynn says:

Thanky

G2K says:

Did I miss the discussion about how diet relates to ADD

mls says:

Does anyone know what law their referring too?

Host Bert_MSN says:

Maxx, care to elaborate for George, about "none will let me cure it"? What obstacles?

chrisa says:

George somebody in here said that a new law got passed . I think ADD is now finally accepte as a disability. Can u tell me more about it???

Host GeorgeLynn says:

OK Diet. Sugar bad Complex carbs good

Host Bert_MSN Let's do Maxx's question first, then MLS' question about new laws, then ? about diet? Maybe there are too many questions at once?

Host GeorgeLynn says:

Yes, the ADA and IDEA were revised by Congress last year. The ADA gives kids protection under the Civil Rights law. The IDEA is the educational statute

Host GeorgeLynn says:

The biggest change from this is that ADHD is now formally included as a disabling condition under thye IDEA

Maxx says:

Not to sound to cruel, but sometimes I think my son needs a good paddling, but everybody, including my wife feel that that is abuse and threaten to call Children & Youth Services.

mls says:

And what exactly does all that mean?

Host GeorgeLynn says:

This means that its harder to throw kids out of school if ADHD is part of the picture

Kava says:

a paddling worked for me

Kava says:

lol

mls says:

ok understand

Host Bert_MSN says:

IDEA ? What does that stand for?I know what ADA is ...

G2K says:

Maxx, we all feel that way sometimes and sometimes it's true , they do need it. but just don't do it in anger.

Maxx says:

George, it's not about kicking them out of school, my son had a incident that he was almost arrested.

babbette says:

maxx, my son occasionally, receives a spanking, but he is always told before it comes to that that it is a possibility if he continues a certain behavior

JackGerardi says:

How do we differentiate between ADD and a kid that needs agood kick in the pants, ?

Host GeorgeLynn says:

IDEA Individuals with Disabilities Education Act

mls says:

my husband feels the same way I give him too many chances!! and he knows it!!

Host Bert_MSN Thanks ...

G2K says:

Anybody questioning the childs diet in these cases??

Host GeorgeLynn says:

The first step is a good medical diagnosis.

Maxx says:

Good point G2K.

chrisa says:

what does ADA stand for>?

Host Bert_MSN says:

Our Special Guest tonight is George T. Lynn, author of Survival Strategies for Parenting Your ADD Child. The topic is how well are our schools serving "attention different" boys, and what can we do about it.

Host GeorgeLynn says:

Then a good educational evaluation to pinpoint learning problems is in order

Host Bert_MSN Americans with Disabilities Act ... handicapped access and all that ...

mls says:

I discipline by taking things he values like playstation/yoyo whatever and he earns it back with acceptable behavior!!

G2K says:

I mean, have you really cataloged the nutritional intake of your child each day??

chrisa says:

thanks

Host GeorgeLynn says:

Educational testing is extremely important because this puts the burden on the school to delver svcs

Host GeorgeLynn says:

Many people don't know that the school will pay for this if it is required

ML-Explorer says:

why does the burden always have to be on the school?

DanBollinger says:

it would tend to get the school enrolled in the child' success, too

mls says:

How do kids generally do in High school?

Maxx says:

I have taken my son to about every doctor and neuroliges around. Everybody has a different option. In school they say he is disabled, but when he acts up, they threaten to have him arrested. Why is that their only solution.

G2K says:

My son was considered ADD until I took him off of dairy and wheat. He sits quietly at night and does his homework without being told..

chrisa says:

but they try to tell u that u as a parent should pay took us a long time to get our money back

Host GeorgeLynn says:

More on diet? Sugar bad, Ca Casein (milk protein) may be bad. Thank you!

G2K says:

Anyone want to talk diet now or do you just want to whine??

Host Bert_MSN G2K and others ... George's book has an appendix that talks about naturopathic alternatives. Walter J. Crinnion, N.D., Nutritional ALternatives to Ritalin - Treating the Causes as Well as the Symptoms. He specifically mentions wheat and dairy, I think. Also, apples and peanuts!

Host GeorgeLynn says:

Schools reflex is to discipline. They know how to do that. Unfortunately, they do not always know how to teachy kids with learning differences

Host Bert_MSN says:

Our Men's Community Web site has a direct link to buy George's book from Barnes & Noble - http://communities.msn.com/men/wyrdkids.asp

DanBollinger says:

thanks, bert

Maxx says:

My kids eat all good food, like you mentioned. But they still, I think, eat to much candy.

Host GeorgeLynn says:

I have found that the 40 30 30 diet helps some kids. 40 percent complex carbs, 30 percent fatty acids, 30 percent protein

mls says:

Iwhat kind of jobs do you suggest for teens with ADHD?

Host GeorgeLynn says:

ADD kids train their parents to have lots of junk food around. Get rid of it!

Hercules says:

this is a mens room?

Hercules says:

mens issues?

Host Bert_MSN says:

Our Special Guest tonight is George T. Lynn, author of Survival Strategies for Parenting Your ADD Child. The topic is how well are our schools serving "attention different" boys, and what can we do about it.

DanBollinger says:

is that by weight, George?

mls says:

well Hercules not right now

G2K says:

but DOCTOR'S don't talk about proper nutrition so nobody seems to care. As it turns out most doctors have only had 4 hours of nutrition training.

Host GeorgeLynn says:

Jobs for ADD teens. Any job outside where they can move around or inside where they can work on the computer

Maxx says:

I will try your advice, George.

DanBollinger says:

yep, men's issues, herc

DanBollinger says:

Host Bert_MSN says:

Our Special Guest tonight is George T. Lynn, author of Survival Strategies for Parenting Your ADD Child. The topic is how well are our schools serving "attention different" boys, and what can we do about it.

Host Bert_MSN Hercules ... yes, men's issues. How active boys are treated in school is a "men's issue", thus the ADD topic

Hercules says:

diets?

Host GeorgeLynn says:

ADHD tends to be a boys problem. ADD is more often seen in girls. The ADD'rs slip through the cracks because their hyperness is internal

Host Bert_MSN says:

Yes, girls have ADD too. E. Hollowell in Driven to Distraction poonts out they're less likely to act it out.

mls says:

What about driving? I will not let my son drive until hes 20!!

Maxx says:

Gotta go, I'm taking your advice on diet George. Bye ted.

Host GeorgeLynn says:

And the ADD kids tend to be quiet depressives

DanBollinger says:

sounds like me as a child!

Host GeorgeLynn says:

Driving. Does he attend?

babbette says:

i am an awsome drivewr, i see so much more around me than others do, if i see a problem on the road i always have an out

Host GeorgeLynn says:

My daughter won't get a drivers license cause she knows she's too distractable

mls says:

no hes 14 Im gearing up for the future !

babbette says:

dont be afraid of the road

Host GeorgeLynn says:

14, Cool. Two more years of peace :)

DanBollinger says:

then you are ADD babbette?

Host Bert_MSN says:

LOL!

G2K says:

Gotta go friends, but trust me on the lifestyle change (foods)

mls says:

my son will not have enough sense he will want to cause his friends are!

babbette says:

yes, medicated at 5 yrs

DanBollinger says:

thanks a long time

babbette says:

my first vehicle was a motorcycle

mls says:

no motorcycle either!!

DanBollinger says

maybe you've already covered this, but what are some telltale indicators for ADD?

babbette says:

stopped taking medication as a teenager, just a scatterbrain ever since!

Host GeorgeLynn says:

Isee telltale indicators..in young kids..ear infections..sleep problems..runners

Host Bert_MSN says:

Our Special Guest tonight is George T. Lynn, author of Survival Strategies for Parenting Your ADD Child. The topic is how well are our schools serving "attention different" boys, and what can we do about it.

Host GeorgeLynn says:

more tantrums then usual..push away types of kids

DanBollinger says:

runners?

mls says:

I hear that alot of teenagers dont take their meds because they dont want to be different! If my son decides he doesnt need his meds were in a world of hurt!

Host Bert_MSN Host GeorgeLynn says:

Isee telltale indicators..in young kids..ear infections..sleep problems..runners

Really! How do those relate to ADD, I wonder? ...

Host GeorgeLynn says:

Schools need to revise curricula and (I'm sorry) have ADD friendly classrooms taught be teachers who are ADD themselves or knowledgable about it

Host Bert_MSN says:

Teachers? That brings up a men's issue ... only 10% of elementary school teachers are male, and that includes all the gym teachers.

Host GeorgeLynn says:

Kids with ADD do not do well in the chairs in a row model. In a way the right classroom for an ADD kid is tyhe same class that many non ADD'rs could benefit from

mls says:

What about when ADHD kids get in trouble with the law? They still need to be held accountable for their actions! So how does the law deal with them?

DanBollinger says:

a miserable statistic for sure

DanBollinger says:

intervention sounds like a good plan

babbette says:

MLS... I STOPPED TAKING MY MEDICATION, BECAUSE I FELT IT WAS TIME TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY LIFE, I HAVE LEARNED TO LIVE WITH THIS CONDITION AND AM VERY SUCCESSFUL IN MY PURSUITS

Host GeorgeLynn says:

ADHD'r tend to get in trouble with the law. Consequences should affirm their connection with the community because they tend to be mavericks..

JackGerardi says:

"Are there any studies done that ADD is more prevelent in the US than in other counties?

Host GeorgeLynn says:

ADD is an explanation not and excuse

chrisa says:

i like that question Jack

babbette says:

I AGREE GEO

JackGerardi says:

Diet is certainly different here, Chrisa

Host GeorgeLynn says:

Yes. Studies indicate that the US and Australia are leaders in ADD in the world but many countries are still way behind the curve in knowing about it and treating it

mocowboy says:

I'm not up on the subject but my opinion is TOO many kids are TOO quickly tagged with ADD! If you want "ADD" then try this........ Add some parental control.........Add some school discilpine..........Add some child responsibility............!!!!!!!!!!!!1

DanBollinger says:

so it may be going undiagnosed in other countries

chrisa says:

u bet i am orig from germany and have never even heard that much about ADD until i came to this country

Host Bert_MSN says:

MenWeb has a site that a kid from India put together ... a 15-year-old computer kid who had been "shamed" a lot in class ... http://www.vix.con/menmag/wyrdkid.htm

mls says:

Babbette Im glad you were able to do that Im dealing with a 14 year old here who still cannot deal or accept responsbility for his actions!!

Host GeorgeLynn says:

I did a conf in London last year. They throw their ADD kids out of school there. Period. Then the kids get tracked into the trades and they figure that's that

mocowboy says:

Chrisa, it is because we let our children get away with too much. We don't teach proper morals in this country any more.

chrisa says:

thats bad

Host Bert_MSN says:

Our Special Guest tonight is George T. Lynn, author of Survival Strategies for Parenting Your ADD Child. The topic is how well are our schools serving "attention different" boys, and what can we do about it.

mls says:

And no Im not using it as an excuse and neither is he!!

chrisa says:

i agree moco

JackGerardi says:

I don't doubt that it exists. But like so many things in this society, I get skeptical about it being used as an excuse

chrisa says:

Germany is way stricter with children

mocowboy says:

My son is on Welbitrin to help him focus on things he needs to focus. But when he puts his mind to it .........He don't need it. He has to try harder.

mls says:

My son has a very short leash he doesnt get away with too much by all means!!

holeshot says:

whtas the subject?

Host GeorgeLynn says:

Many ADD kids benefit from structure but they need to be challenged within that structure..

Host Bert_MSN says:

Our Special Guest tonight is George T. Lynn, author of Survival Strategies for Parenting Your ADD Child. The topic is how well are our schools serving "attention different" boys, and what can we do about it.

Host Bert_MSN says:

"Attention different" refers to boys who have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Tourette's Syndrome, or Bipolar Disorder. These kids don't have "deficits," but "differences," which include unique and special gifts.

mls says:

yes I used to live in Germany they have there share of undis children seen it myself!!

Host GeorgeLynn says:

Boredom can be a big stressor and that can set off the ADD problms

babbette says:

hi wolf

wolf2000 says:

hi babb

mls says:

I agree George

mocowboy says:

But by the same token I feel that we create this "POPS" THING. Pup out of the pen syndrome. We can too much safe gaurd our kids and then when the go out the go wild.

Host GeorgeLynn says:

Talking international, the Japanes tolerate a lot more hyperactivity

chrisa says:

strict or not strict i think over here it is not easy on parents to punish their kids u have to worry that somebody calls Child Services on u. By all means when i say punish i do not mean hitting

mls says:

Keep them busy with physical exercise sports etc!!

JackGerardi says:

Good point, Chrisa

mocowboy says:

I agree mls.

Host GeorgeLynn says:

Yes. Exeercise is very good for all things ADD!

chrisa says:

So what does a parent do in this country to correct and punish a child if the hands are tied?

babbette says:

parents beat the life out of me....it worked...but i do not go there

chrisa says:

me too and i am ok

wolf2000 says:

I dont think that is a solution

Host GeorgeLynn says:

Many of the most distressing problems these kids have are related to their other conditons such as depression, obsessions, rage, etc

wolf2000 says:

you have to be proactive from the start

mocowboy says:

Ignore the standards and make the child understand morals and the right thing to do. If they step out of line.......make thempay the price.

babbette says:

rage was a big problem for me

wolf2000 says:

Well, I disagree with you there mo.

holeshot says:

is tourett's genetic?

JackGerardi says:

My pleasure, bert See ya Tim, Dan. Night to all

chrisa says:

In the summer we go visit family in germany and my daughter is a totally different child . Due to the different way of raising them

mocowboy says:

Why, wolf?

Host GeorgeLynn says:

TS is genetic

Host GeorgeLynn says:

My own son is DX Tourette Syndrome. It has been an education

chrisa says:

how many children do u have George?

Host GeorgeLynn says:

3..two grown daughters and one son

Host Bert_MSN ... all I know of Tourette's Syndrome is the "cursing disease" ... I take it there's a LOT more involved ...

holeshot says:

george are you familiar with torticollis?

mocowboy says:

I'm unknown to the Tourette's Syndrome

chrisa says:

George so best thing for ADD kids is to have structure and a routine is that right?

Host GeorgeLynn says:

No what is torticollis?

mocowboy says:

I agree with that Chrisa. Is it productive George?

mocowboy says:

By George

holeshot says:

spasmodic torticollis. it's a nerological disorder

wolf2000 says:

all children need structure and routine, and lots of hugs, and a good ear to listen to them.

flash2 says:

can I get some info on ritalin I don't think its a good option

babbette says:

i say an expected routine, with an oppertunity along the way to deviate without problems

mocowboy says:

My son and daughter will still give me hugs in public. I guess I'm pretty lucky.

wolf2000 says:

nigt dan

chrisa says:

wolf thats true but ADd kids need the routine at all times

mocowboy says:

Night Dan. Good to see ya.

chrisa says:

i mean all the time

wolf2000 says:

And whats the problem with providing it??

chrisa says:

nothing but sometimes the routine is just interrupted due to everyday life. Thats when we are in trouble

Host Bert_MSN says:

Our Special Guest tonight is George T. Lynn, author of Survival Strategies for Parenting Your ADD Child. The topic is how well are our schools serving "attention different" boys, and what can we do about it.

mocowboy says:

It was nice of George to come.,

Host Bert_MSN says:

Our Men's Community Web site has a direct link to buy George's book from Barnes & Noble - http://communities.msn.com/men/wyrdkids.asp

chrisa says:

i agree moco

flash2 says:

problems of second consequences or dependent to ritalin

Host Bert_MSN says:

We'll have a transcript of this chat on the MSN Men's Community Web page, by some time tomorrow. http://communities.msn.com/men/

Host Bert_MSN says:

While you've been gone, I gave another shameless plug for your book <g>

GeorgeLynn says:

Thank you all. It’s time to say good bye. I've enjoyed talking with you

mocowboy says:

My area is too rready to say "REDILIN" (I know I didn't spell that right). It is the first thing out of their mouths. Mind control is not the answer.

chrisa says:

hi guys

Host Bert_MSN says:

We've sure enjoyed having you here, George!

Host Bert_MSN says:

It's been a great chat!

GRETCHEN says:

HELLO MOCOWBOY

wolf2000 says:

I agree with you there Mo!!

chrisa says:

thanks George was nice of u to come and chat with us

holeshot says:

nite george

Host Bert_MSN says:

Thanks so much! A lot of good info there!

mocowboy says:

Thanks for being here George!!

GeorgeLynn says:

feel free to contact me at GeorgeLynn@compuserve.com bye

mocowboy says:

Howdy Gretch!! Good to see ya!

GeorgeLynn (~GeorgeLynn@216.192.17.8) has left the conversation.

GRETCHEN says:

good to see you too Timmie!

Host Bert_MSN says:

Our Men's Community Web site has a direct link to buy George's book from Barnes & Noble - http://communities.msn.com/men/wyrdkids.asp

Host Bert_MSN says:

We'll have a transcript of this chat on the MSN Men's Community Web page, by some time tomorrow. http://communities.msn.com/men/

Host Bert_MSN says:

And his article "Wyrd Kids and Planetary Survival os on our Men's Community Web site, too. http://communities.msn.com/men/wyrdkids.asp

mocowboy says:

The parents over the years have been failing because we let society push us too fast to have time to set at home and take care of family business.!

chrisa says:

moco thats a super point

mocowboy says:

Any comment on that???

wolf2000 says:

Agree.

MOOZ says:

chrisa says:

its sad that most Moms have to work

wolf2000 says:

I agree, priorities. That's what it boils down to

MOOZ says:

i am a stay at home mom

babbette says:

i wish i could be home to raise my son and home school him

chrisa says:

actually i think family should be #1

babbette says:

most definately

mocowboy says:

It's not sad that mom's have to work........It's sad that society and money pressure the mom's and dad's to put work ahead of family.

Host Bert_MSN says:

Christa, that's one of the frustrations that George was talking about ... ADD kids need lots of individual attention, and in families where both parents work, they may have to turn to Ritalin rather than attention ...

chrisa says:

i had an agreement with my hubby to stay home i am glad

mocowboy says:

I feel that a women should have a career as well as a man. But many "MOM'S" have to work to just create and income, not to create a career.

chrisa says:

Bert i know but why is this in this country that fanily is pushed aside.

babbette says:

where i work, if your child is ill and you cant make it to work, it counts against you on your permanent recor

chrisa says:

that stinks babette

foureyes says:

but most parents work and the majority of kids are doin o.k. in school. i think the parents are failing in another way:too much permisiveness.

wolf2000 says:

Is ADD a neurological disorder or diesease?

gopher says:

amen

MOOZ says:

most moms would rather work.

mocowboy says:

Ritalin is a poor answer. Why don't we put poision on our yards bec ause we don't have time to mow it?!?!

Host Bert_MSN says:

Christa, my wife and I have the same arrangement ... some exonomic cutbacks in terms of "gotta have it all" material consumption, but worth it to have her here for my step-son ...

babbette says:

tell me about it, now mandatory 10 hour work day too

Host Bert_MSN says:

Timmie, is Ritalin necessary? George's book has an appendix that talks about naturopathic alternatives. Walter J. Crinnion, N.D., Nutritional Alternatives to Ritalin - Treating the Causes as Well as the Symptoms

babbette says:

i finally went in and gave my two week notice, signed up to bew a mom first, i said

chrisa says:

In germany for example u get 6 weeks of (paid) before ur due date and up to 3 Years after with some money from the government also u can work parttime up to 18 hours a week . Also the government pays everybody KINDERGELD for each child every month.

wolf2000 says:

You made the right choice Babbette

mocowboy says:

We've spoiled ourselves, we don't need all the things we think we do. If we lived by that, then the "salesmen of society " would let us alone and we wouldn't strive so hard for the monatary (spell) things in life.

wolf2000 says:

hmm

babbette says:

i know i did, harder on the hubby though

chrisa says:

i wonder why nothing like this exists over here

Host Bert_MSN says:

Wolf, it's at least biochemical -- ADD brains handle sensory input (external and internal) differently. George spends the first chapter of his book going through it.

mocowboy says:

Amen babbette.

babbette says:

i get more time with the boy and he gets less

mocowboy says:

I think that would be another solution Bert!

Host Bert_MSN says:

What would, Timmie? (Lost me, I'm afraid ...)

GRETCHEN says:

hi

mocowboy says:

One side of the brain deals with focusing on a single thing. The other side deals with a thousand things at a time. it is only a matter of knowing which side is dominant.

Host Bert_MSN says:

Ah!

mocowboy says:

Another solution to retalin, Bert.

babbette says:

million things at once for me

babbette says:

on ritalin feel like a zombie

mocowboy says:

for sure babbette.

Host Bert_MSN says:

He talks about mixing sensory input ... that the ADD brain is "hypersensitive" in taking in TOO MUCH stimulus, and not being able to sort it all out.

babbette says:

off ritalin, ability to entertain others by, scatterbraining through unrelated topics

mocowboy says:

I agree with that Bert. So if you can't sort it out or control it you tend to ignore it. That is where profesional help and training comes in. As well as some parental support.

Host Bert_MSN says:

So, Babbette, have you tried herbal approaches? An ADD listserv I was on talked a lot about St. Johns' Wart. And somebody mentioned a mixture called "tranquility."

mocowboy says:

Well, I guess you use it to your advantage, babbette.

chrisa says:

Does anybobdy know how many ADD kids are in the US?

chrisa says:

just curious

babbette says:

most of those herbal remedies are a bunch of crap!

chrisa says:

not all babbette

mocowboy says:

Don't knock them so quick, Babbette.

babbette says:

i am very creative, people who know me appreciate the way i am.

chrisa says:

just need to know how to use tham

Host Bert_MSN says:

Christa, I don't believe the numbers thrown out ... when I worked for the legislature I did an audit of Specual Education funding ... there was a lot of pressure to put "Special Ed" kids into the "Learning Disabled" category rather than other categories ... because the Federal eimbursement was twice as high.

babbette says:

tried them, no dice

chrisa says:

how many Bert?

mocowboy says:

I'm sure they do babbette, but isn't that because you can deal with several thing at once? Why not be open to other options.,?

Host Bert_MSN says:

So there was a lot of "shufflijng around," the school districts tryong to avoid the REAL ADHD kids (who consume resources) and get a lot of mild kids CLASSIFIED as ADHD, both at the same time. Monkehying with the numbers and diagnoses, for the $$ reimbursement.

chrisa says:

u got it Bert

babbette says:

honesatly i have tried, without much luck

chrisa says:

$$$$$$$ i all that counts

wolf2000 says:

and thats what is boils down to $$$

Host Bert_MSN says:

For the actual numbers, Christa? No, I don't know what they are ...

GRETCHEN says:

My sons school tried pushing me into putting my son on Ritalin

LIB says:

why both sons on ritalin??

Host Bert_MSN says:

Babbette, I think both my wife and I are ADD ... although neither has had a diagnosis. We both found a book by E. Hollowell very helpful ... full of ideas on adjusting lifestyle to accomodate ADD. Driven to Distraction.

mocowboy says:

I can believe that Bert. But as well that might come from the fact that there are not enough teaachers for the number of kids. Sothe teacher is overloaded and doesn't have the time tobe a proper "EDUCATOR"

wolf2000 says:

I think you guys ought to rebel and take back your children's future from the beaurocrats

chrisa says:

i have been told by my daughters school to have her evaluated by by a doctor or else. Cost me $700. Insurance did not cover it . I fought hard and than got my money back

holeshot says:

yea wolf

shoerman says:

Hi Ted

babbette says:

i didnt want to put my son on med, but one day he looked at me in a store, (just a normal day) and said"mommy i want to die" " i am not good like all the other kids are" "maybe god can fix me"""

GRETCHEN says:

how come the insurance wouldn't cover it chrisa

chrisa says:

its hard i didnot know my rights

wolf2000 says:

Get on you elected reps to make it a priority

Host Bert_MSN says:

Yes, Christa ... we saw a lot of that in our audits ...

shoerman says:

Just showin the wife around

holeshot says:

my daughter is homeschooled

mocowboy says:

Me too Michelle. I Told them where to get off. And we delt with it ourselves.. Maybe not in the best way but it is working.

mocowboy says:

Amen wolf.

chrisa says:

GRETCHEN at the time it was not considered a medical condition

GRETCHEN says:

oh i see

chrisa says:

so insurance said forget it

chrisa says:

that sucks because i think it is medical

mocowboy says:

That is when you need to go to get help and stay with the kid, babbette. Church can't hurt. Talk with teachers, counselors,,,,, pastor,,,,,, family,,,,,,

chrisa says:

if it has to do with the brain it is medical period

GRETCHEN says:

I think it's the teacher's way of making her day go by easier if she has an over active kid drugged up

wolf2000 says:

I think the fact that children's needs are not being met, are now bubbling to the surface and manifested in ways which are nolonger easy to ignore

mocowboy says:

That''s tough too Rick.

chrisa says:

Gretchen i agree

babbette says:

broke my heart, i was hugging him in the store and crying

chrisa says:

i feel for u babbette

shoerman says:

all this insight

holeshot says:

what, homeschoolig?

Eclipse says:

what is the topic?

mocowboy says:

Hugging is Good!!

GRETCHEN says:

how old is your kid babbet?

Host Bert_MSN says:

Timmie, my sister went through that, too. "They" wanted to drug her son. She refused. Put in lots of time and attention ... and a good sense of humor, to cope with it. Danny turned out all right ...

babbette says:

wondered how his self esteem would fare if he was always getting in trouble for little things all day

mocowboy says:

yes, Rick. A real challeng on the parent, isn't it/

mocowboy says:

Good for her, Bert.

holeshot says:

yea, but worth it

Host Bert_MSN says:

Yes, hugging's good! That was one of the main strategies my sisterused ...

babbette says:

he just turned 6 in march

shoerman says:

what kind of work up there

chrisa says:

had my kid in aprivate school before and they told her if u do not listen we kick u out . She was only 6 at the time . I could not believeit. She had a hard time with this unprofessional statement for a long time

GRETCHEN says:

damn that is young

holeshot says:

and it's monitored by the church. she's an angel on earth

mocowboy says:

give lot's of love babbette but give strict rules of conduct also. Self esteem is important.

Host Bert_MSN says:

Yes, it is a challenge for the parent! That's why George titled his book "Survival Strategies" ... one message he didn't get to talk about tonight is TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. If you're stressed out, you have no hope of controlling a stressed-out ADHD kid. You need humor and tolerence, even when the kid is "pushing" you ...

GRETCHEN says:

does anybody in here beleive in spankings for discipline? or should it be handled in a different way?

babbette says:

very strict house but full of love, people always praise me about how personable and sweet my son is

chrisa says:

Thats what my nusband tells me Bert

mocowboy says:

That is great Rick! But does that restrict the capabilities of being ab le to deal with other children in many ways?

wolf2000 says:

there are many alternatives to spanking

Eclipse says:

it is terrible to spank your child

Host Bert_MSN says:

mocowboy says:

give lot's of love babbette but give strict rules of conduct also. Self esteem is important.

Yeah, George emphasises that in his book, too ...

holeshot says:

i believe in spankings, luckily i don't have to do it

GRETCHEN says:

what if your child doesn't listen after you have told them something about 5 times then what do you do?

mocowboy says:

i spank but it hurts to do it. Altho the kids are too old now,.

wolf2000 says:

tell them in a way they can understand

Eclipse says:

take away something they really like

GRETCHEN says:

i know i used to get spanked when i was younger and i turned out just fine

chrisa says:

a spanking at the right time isnot going to hurt

Host Bert_MSN says:

Eclipse says:

it is terrible to spank your child

George said in the chat tonight that sometimes it's necessary. Two rules he said. 1) NEVER in anger. 2) LOTS of warning that that would be a consequence of the behavior, if it keeps up. He's not saying NEVER SPANK.

holeshot says:

no MO she relates with other kids and adults very well

mocowboy says:

lay down the hammer Michelle. and you have to stay put till it hurts you and then they will see that there is no "back up in you".

chrisa says:

agree

babbette says:

i give my son a choice , if the behavior persists the punishment will become harsher, always a warning befffffore the spanking option

wolf2000 says:

Children have the capacity to understand, but many times parents dont have the capacity to communicate to the child in a wasy the child will understand

Host Bert_MSN ... does the parent have the capacity to NOT be "blowing his top" and reacting just out of anger, to strike down the child? ... Not always clear ...

babbette says:

sometimes kids are too young to relate the whole message in debate

wolf2000 says:

oh bs

wolf2000 says:

babbate you arewrong

wolf2000 says:

there are books on how to communicate with your child

chrisa says:

what gets me is that society and the court allows a kid to divorce the parents. That makes it easy for us parents

mocowboy says:

That is great Rick. The reason I ask is because I have some in-laws who home school and you can tell it. The kids are socially retarded........ That might be a bit course,,,,,,,,, but there is a difference in the the way they react with groups.'

chrisa says:

hi u

mocowboy says:

My problem is I give too many warnings!!

wolf2000 says:

Go and watch a childcare worker who is a "wonder" with kids.

GRETCHEN says:

me too Timmie

wolf2000 says:

These people have a talent for talking and listening to kids

babbette says:

dont be so sure, think about it . your 3 yr old runs into the street.... you explain to him why it is wrong, he does it again, you explain it is wrong and why, he does it again, what do you do?

mocowboy says:

agreed wolf. Where is the damned manual??

Host Bert_MSN says:

LOL! They begin to lack "credibility" after a while?

Host Bert_MSN says:

You petition the city to close the street.

Host Bert_MSN says:

<g>

babbette says:

wait until he gets hit by a car, or make him fear a consequence?

wolf2000 says:

Draw it, color a picture of it

wolf2000 says:

read a book about it

ZZZuuupppa says:

explain to him or her what hurt is, my child only ran out once, but, all children are different also

mocowboy says:

bust his ass, babbette. Want to goto a funeral??

GRETCHEN says:

LOL @mo

Host Bert_MSN says:

Some kids take things in through images ... pictures ... others get it better through auditory ... hearing it.

ZZZuuupppa says:

Children associate with pain though...

ZZZuuupppa says:

they can understand it anyways

chrisa says:

wolf i think thats good suggestions . Its just parents are often to busy working and often the babysitters are not the greatest

babbette says:

i drug my son to the very edge of a busy street , where he could feel the wind of the cars and hear the loud noises, and see just how big and fast those cars were. i asked him if he understood and he said yes

Eclipse says:

everyone is trying to find solutions to their problems, but you have to realize that the children are still young. No matter how much you explain it to them you will never be able to understand it like adults. It takes time.

chrisa says:

well was great chatting with all of u got to go now bye

 

bye bye chrisa nice meeting you

Host Bert_MSN says:

Nice having you here, Christa! Hope the chat helped a little. Good luck with the challenges you face!

holeshot says:

take off latino

chrisa says:

thanks

Eclipse says:

go away

mocowboy laughing at gretch. The FBI don't kn ow about my tunnel to the real explosive...........

babbette says:

my point exactly, sometimes children need to be scared of consequences before it is too late to teach them the long drawn out version of the point

GRETCHEN says:

LOL your such a bad boy!

Host Bert_MSN says:

Our Special Guest tonight is George T. Lynn, author of Survival Strategies for Parenting Your ADD Child. The topic is how well are our schools serving "attention different" boys, and what can we do about it.

Eclipse says:

thank you for understanding babbette

Host Bert_MSN says:

George is gone, but we're still taling about kids and ADD ...

mocowboy says:

i know it!!!!1

ZZZuuupppa says:

does it have to be just about boys, sometimes I wonder if my daughter has ADD..

mocowboy says:

Then you should be checkingt you homework and then going to bed, 23.

Eclipse says:

what is add?

GRETCHEN says:

well guys and gals i need to get off here and go to bed

GRETCHEN says:

©x(©x(©x(©x(©x Hugs To All ! x©)x©)x©)x©))

mocowboy says:

Night Michell. Nice to talk to you again.'

babbette says:

attention defecit disorder

mocowboy says:

Tell Mike I said hi.'

Host Bert_MSN says:

Yes, girls have ADD too ... maybe just as much. It seems, though, that boys more often have the FORM of ADD that involves "acting out."

ZZZuuupppa says:

Attention Deficit Disorder or something like that....

GRETCHEN says:

night everybody!!!!!

ZZZuuupppa says:

my daughter acts out, let me tell you....

Host Bert_MSN says:

Nite, Gretchen ...

mocowboy says:

Night Rick. Take care. Good to see ya.

Eclipse says:

how old is she?

ZZZuuupppa says:

5

Host Bert_MSN says:

Just general trends, Zzzzz ... not to say that ALL boys or NO girls ...

ZZZuuupppa says:

she has these tantrums that are just amazing, and so far nothing really works

wolf2000 says:

well Babs idid it work???

Eclipse says:

what have you tried?

mocowboy says:

Too many strange names, Bert. Do you think they think mocowboy is strange??????

23 says:

I AM A MAN

babbette says:

did ya find a 42 ounce

wolf2000 says:

And you did it with out beating him??

Host Bert_MSN says:

ZZZ ... you might want to check out George's book ... Survival Strartegies for Parents ...

holeshot says:

i'm not leaving, i was saying nite to gretchen, but i appreciate the consideration

mocowboy says:

You said yu was a kid a while ago, 23

ZZZuuupppa says:

I have tried to get her to verbalize why or what is making her mad, and she turned it to "this is making me mad so I am going to break, destroy this or that thing

mocowboy says:

i would alway consider you Rick.

Host Bert_MSN says:

Our Men's Community Web site has a direct link to buy George's book from Barnes & Noble - http://communities.msn.com/men/wyrdkids.asp

D12CRY4 says:

have you seen trinity, babette?

mocowboy says:

Hit her in the mouth ZZZ....... Just kidding.

ZZZuuupppa says:

also ignoring or holding her or taking something important away ....

holeshot says:

thanks

wolf2000 says:

Babs, did the busy street lesson work???

babbette says:

no i swatted hi but right there in the parking lot in front of a dozen people, my point was that i was as creative as humanly possible

ZZZuuupppa says:

I have come close, though, that is the scary thing

Eclipse says:

so what does she expliode about?

babbette says:

not yet

Host Bert_MSN says:

ZZZzzz ... I don't know how to separate out relatively "normal" acting out from ADD or Borderline or Bipolar ... they all look alike, at some point ...

mocowboy says:

Well, family is finally home. I need to beat the kids, and kick the wife, and I aint going to tell you what i am going to do with the wife.

mocowboy says:

Night All!

ZZZuuupppa says:

everyting, clothes, not being able to do this or that, in the store, although I have curbed that by always leaving so now she gets the message that I will just leave if she throws a tantrun....taking a bath, brushing her teeth you name it

Host Bert_MSN says:

Night, Timmie!

babbette says:

for shame mccowboy

mocowboy says:

Great Night all! I enjoyed it.

Eclipse says:

does she go to school?

babbette says:

us too

REPTILL says:

can anyone tell me the effects of black coffee on add kids

ZZZuuupppa says:

although at other times she is an absolute doll...she goes to pre-school, starts k in the fall

Host Bert_MSN says:

Sounds like a problem, ZZZzzz ... anyone you can take her to, to see if there's some underlying problem? ...

wolf2000 says:

It takes a lot to raise a child with great needs

Eclipse says:

so she does it when she dosen't get her way?

wolf2000 says:

But it is an investment in their future.

babbette says:

my little boy is the light of my life, well worth it, no trouble

ZZZuuupppa says:

I have talked to her doctor, has been seeing her since birth, he doesn't think it is abnormal, however maybe I should get a second opinion

Eclipse says:

i have 15 kids so i know it all.

ZZZuuupppa says:

she does it when she doesn't get her way half the time, the other half, she is understanding and empathetic

ML-Explorer says:

second opinions never hurt

D12CRY4 says:

no one has 15 kids

Host Bert_MSN says:

Hmmmmm ... maybe a second opinion might be worthwhile if she's a strain like that?

Eclipse says:

i'm just kiding

wolf2000 says:

my favorite children's experst are Sears and Sears

Eclipse says:

i'm only 16

ZZZuuupppa says:

yeah, maybe I am just scared of what I might find out...

wolf2000 says:

they have 8 kids, he's apediatriton and obs/gyn and she is an RN who specializes in babys

D12CRY4 says:

lol babbette

Host Bert_MSN says:

Uhhh ... yeah, there's that, too!

Host Bert_MSN says:

George has a whole chapter in his book about the grief -- literally, grieving process -- the family goes through when there is a doagnosis, an "official" word ...

wolf2000 says:

They have a few books out worth reading

ZZZuuupppa says:

what was that book again?

Eclipse says:

it could just be normal behavior. when they are young it is hard to punish them in a way which will teach them. But as they get older they begin to realize things and you can punish them in a way that they can understand.

ZZZuuupppa says:

that is what is hardest for me, finding what works

wolf2000 says:

Mine is right into books

D12CRY4 says:

don't think so,,, lol....not this serious , yet

Host Bert_MSN says:

Yes, ZZZzzz ... it IS a matter of personal experimentation ... finding ut what works best for YOUR child ...

Host Bert_MSN says:

ok, Babbette ... <g>

wolf2000 says:

have a problem and I find a book on the subject and it hits home for her

ZZZuuupppa says:

she always wanted treats in the store, and now, she doesn't get any but, she works for $1 allowance a week now, and it's working, because she can spend it every friday on whatever she wants

babbette says:

got kids d12

ZZZuuupppa says:

so there is freedom and responsibility

Eclipse says:

charts and bribes always work

wolf2000 says:

Ever have a tantrum in front of your child

holeshot says:

i have

Eclipse says:

that is the worst thing you can do

D12CRY4 says:

no, do not babbette

babbette says:

yes all the time

wolf2000 says:

lol

ZZZuuupppa says:

once, and it shut her up, cause I tried it to catch her off gaurd

babbette says:

lol

Eclipse says:

be having a fit infront of your child you are teaching him or her that it is ok.

wolf2000 says:

on the floor stamping feet??

babbette says:

love to mess with them

ZZZuuupppa says:

yup

babbette says:

crying like a baby

wolf2000 says:

In the supermarket I just let her go at it and wait.

holeshot says:

i have had physical fights in front of my daughter

Host Bert_MSN says:

Hard not to, sometimes ... if one of the ADD kid's strtategies is to get maximum stimulus ... maximum reaction ... they seem to have a built-in radar, on exactly HOW to push those buttons ...

ZZZuuupppa says:

I know, but, I was at my wits end that day, it was safer to have a fit, than yell at her

ZZZuuupppa says:

ignoring it works the best, but, what I have discovered in the last few weeks is consistency in the way I disapline is what works

babbette says:

well im not gonna let you guys keep me up late again tonight, no meat to cook

Eclipse says:

well people it's been fun but i have homework or my parents will KILL ME!!!! Just kiding. GOOD NIGHT!

holeshot says:

nite

Host Bert_MSN says:

Night, Eclipse. ... Thanks for stopping in ...

Eclipse says:

good luck zzuuppa

babbette says:

good night

ZZZuuupppa says:

thank you and good night

 

George Lynn is a therapist in Bellevue, Washington. He is the author of Survival Strategies For Parenting Your ADD Child (Underwood Books). (order on-line)

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