Here at MenWeb, we've received some interesting, thoughtful and thought-provoking e-mail. With the authors' permission, we'd like to share them with you.

This page is the "public commentary" page, like a "letters to the editor" page.

I've been reading your web mag for quite some time and it just keeps getting better. Kudos.

Your article on "Men Questioning Feminism are Bitter Woman-Haters" brought to mind an issue or complex set of issues which I have yet to see addressed: that is how the excesses of man- hatred are poisoning men against women in general. Sweeping the insanity under the rug by indicating that only a few extremists hold those positions implies that there are a huge number of "good and decent" women out there if men would just look harder to find them. What I have found is exactly the opposite: women riding on the coattails of the anti-male movement while dis-acknowledging participation. This is as true in my private life as in public media and discourse.

Here I have to disagree with Warren Farrell, in that it is not just the fact that men have not said it that has prevented women from hearing men's voices - it is more often the case that women *will* not hear what men do say. Emotionally bloody all out verbal war is simply not worth the effort and annoyance most of the time, so a more practical and realistic approach is simply to start avoiding women who spout implicit man-hatred. And since so many women buy into it simply to go along with the crowd, this in effect means avoiding most if not all women.

Part of it becomes an issue of risk assessment and acceptance. With the rising awareness of the completely one-sided concept of domestic violence, men are left totally defenseless against a violent women. They literally can be arrested for being beaten up. Since so many of the benefits to marriage and parenthood, and sexual relationships in general, have been destroyed or criminalized; associating with women at all carries a greater and greater risk with ever diminishing potential for payoff.

While there are a few high profile women trying to turn back the anti-male tide, I do not see them making much inroad into the Dagwood-Bumstead-mentality view of men held by women who would reject the label of feminist. Thus men are caught between women who hate them and those who hold them in contempt. I personally see no evidence of reasonably sane women who do not harbor the belief in one way or another that men exist for no other purpose than to be manipulated. Unfortunately that belief, in itself, makes me less willing to take a risk to find a woman who might believe otherwise, and to regard all women with distrust as potential enemies.

I know men have been very cautious about dealing with the topic of fighting back against this: we have been trapped by the concept that we are all violent so we try to deny and suppress the natural urge to fight back when attacked. I wonder if this will only change when men truly have their backs to the wall and extremist suggestions begin to be implemented such as the "gender tax" (penis penalty) proposed by the author of "Men are not cost effective" or the suggestion that 90% of all men be killed leaving 10% to provide sperm crops.

At some point, self-preservation may overcome social prohibition and men will be forced to choose between overt fighting and anihilation. This certainly isn't a subject for a forum designed to create gender peace, but one motivation for peace is always the horrors of war. Misogynists are made, not born. Over the past 30 years I have lost any compassion whatsoever for women, due to the overuse of crying wolf, and the many many horrible women I have encountered. When I look at the 75% of divorces inititated by women, at the runaway abuse of sexual harassment laws, at violent women whose violence is not only excused but condoned, and at the general level of man-hatred that I see among women; misogyny seems a fairly adaptive stance to take.

I know you don't have many site links, but I have a site you might find interesting: It is mixed fare and there is an extensive gender relations section which is not obvious, but can be found under the heading "Is society sane?" or directly at:

Another man writes:

I think your site is fantastic.

I was in the Minnesota Mens Council for several years and was fortunate to come into contact with Bly, Bliss, and Meade, and many others.

Unfortunately, I left MN in 1989, and with family, work, and school I had completely lost touch. Recently I came across Gurian's Wonder of Boys, which really got me going again. I found my old copy of Baumli and then got on the internet and found dozens of web sites, then read Farrell, Kipnis, Sommers, Roiphe, Patai, and hundreds of downloaded articles just about non-stop. I can't tell you how relieved I was to find that the men's movement is still alive - I was afraid that it had perhaps just died out.

One problem with getting back into this all: society's misunderstanding of men, and in some cases downright bigotry/misandry, as detailed so completely in Farrell (Myth...), Sommers and some others is very disturbing to me - a real downer.

I grew up with an angry feminist step-mother and a father who bought too much of it. I spent many years feeling men were an inferior version of human AT THE VERY BEST. My years with the MN Mens Council in the mid 80's pulled me out of the worst of that, now I need to finish it off. I am now looking for a men's group here in the western CT to northern New York City area, without any success yet.

Thanks for your hard work on this site. I am looking forward to a lot of good reading and I hope some interaction with other people too. I intend to send a check soon.

If you have public comments you'd like to make about the Web site or about any of the articles here, E-mail Bert Here's your chance to add your perspectives and insights on the issues. This is like a "letters to the editor" page.