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Surviving and Living

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Male Survivors of Child Sex Abuse


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Survive child sexual abuse? Is that the best we can say, "I'm surviving?" That's Dr. Wayne Kritzberg's point in The Invisible Wound. Survivors will tell you that dealing with the aftermath of child sexual abuse is a matter of survival - life and death - for a lot of guys. But Dr. Kritzberg points out that the perpetrator has robbed the young boy of any of the joy and beauty in life, beyond mere "surviving."

Can a man lead a healthy, full and creative life after surviving child sexual abuse? Yes he can, but the road is rough. This section of MenWeb presents some articles and other information for male survivors of childhood sexual abuse. We've heard a lot about survivors, but so much of it is geared to women. But some experts believe that male children are sexually abused as much as, or almost as much as, female children. And women, as well as men, are perpetrators. Here we present some male-focused and male-positive articles and information, specifically for male survivors. Their needs are often quite different from female survivors. For example, male survivors frequently get involved in anger. The information is from MenWeb, aith additional information from other Web sites specifically geared to mazle survivors. In those cases, we've provided links to those sites, for more information.

Doggie (Scott in background)The Associate WebMaster here is Scott Abraham, a survivor who knows from personal experience the healing power of survivors telling their stories to each other. He has been courageous enough to author several "hot" stories that have appeared in MEN Magazine, in the hopes that "going public" with his story will help other men. His review of books for male survivors, including the book he says saved his life, first appeared on MenWeb, and has been picked up by a large number of other Web sites. Scott is finishing up work on his counseling degree.
 

To begin with, we present three stories by Scott, written at different points on his own journey, and Scott's now-famous book review. We will add more content as we get it.

Are you a survivor, or do you know one? Do you need help knowing where to turn? Do you have a story you'd like to tell, or a treatment approach you'd like to talk about?

E-mail Scott! Talk to us! He will respond privately and, as appropriate (with full regard for permission and anonymity, of course!) add selected questions and answers to a Web page we're designing, "Questions and Answers: Male Survivors of Child Sex Abuse."


Articles and Stories

 

Hi. My name is Donald by Donald D'Haene. A childhood sexual abuse survivor moves on with his life.

Be Gone!, by Scott Abraham

Survival and Living, by Scott Abraham

Elden's Story, by Elden P. Owens

My Story, by John Andrews

My Stolen Life, by Timothy Null

Our Precious Inner Child, by John Andrews

How Do You Know if a Person Likes Themselves?, by John Andrews

Revenge: A Dish Best Served Cold, by Scott Abraham

Take Care of Your Mother - Or Else, by Scott Abraham

Climbing Out From Hell, by Jeffrey Miller. "The case against Father Kos isnít new to Dallas. ... There have been insensitive remarks made by people against the men who brought these charges, but their bravery has made it possible for more than a dozen other boys to step forward with similar charges against Kos. ... What we need to create for our children is an environment that embraces a boy who has the courage to tell of his rape. We must believe him, and support him, and not make him responsible for holding the burden of the adult act. Being molested is not what a boy wants. Even though it is out of his control, he all too often is the only person who must pay.

Break the Cycle: Break the Silence, by Tino Plank.

New Possibilities, by Rod Burke.

Wounded Boys, Courageous Men, a photo-essay about male survivors of institutional child abuse in a Canadian institution, by E. Jane Mundy.

Yes, Women Do Abuse, by Scott Abraham

"False" Memories, Repressed Memories, by Scott Abraham

Myths About Male Sexual Abuse, in cooperation with M.A.L.E., and its comprehensive Web site for male survivors.

Opening the Door to Male Victims, introduction to The Invisible Boy: Revisioning The Victimization of Male Children & Teens , prepared by the Canadian Foster Family Association (CFFA) on behalf of the National Clearinghouse on Family Violence of Health Canada.

Reporting on Teachers Who Sexually Abuse Students: Media Bias? Or Just Reflecting Society?, by Bert H. Hoff. Teachers sexually molest students. He gets 4 years, she gets 80 days. Terry McDermott, Seattle Times columnist, writes about the disparity. We've also highlighted other Seattle Times coverage of these two cases. Media bias, or just reflecting social attitudes? What do you think?


 

In Britain, a segment of the BBC1 show Panorama focused on woman who sexually abuse children. Here are a summary and full transcript from that broadcast.

Book Reviews, Books Available on-line

Witnessing the process ...

 

The therapeutic process of recovery from childhood sexual abuse rarely leads itself to neat, logical summations of such complex emotions and thoughts.

We invite men to contribute to this section with snippets of their own writing, that need not be "completed works," but that offer a glimpse into the complexity of the healing process.

We invite you to check out the WITNESS section, to read and perhaps to participate.

Related Web sites:

 

M.A.L.E. Web site of M.A.L.E. - Men Assisting Leading Educating, a nonprofit organization dedicated to healing male survivors of sexual abuse. "Since the late 1970s research has documented that 1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before her 18th birthday and that at least 1 in 6 boys suffers the same fate. Any person who has been sexually abused - male or female - experiences lasting effects and enduring emotional pain. Most of the organizations that serve survivors of sexual abuse have been created by women for women. Because so few people know that large numbers of males are sexually abused, male survivors have been unseen, neglected and therefore underserved." Background info, myths about sexually abused males, many articles by professionals and survivors or other non-professionals for adult and adolescent survivors and for families and professionals, poems, and an extensive list of private ICQ chats through its "Men's Forum." And a very comprehensive list of links to other sites, with good descriptions of each.

Sexual Abuse of Males: Prevalence, Lasting Effects, and Resources By Jim Hopper, Ph.D.. The main part of this page is a thorough and scholarly review of the statistics and research on mals CSAs. At the bottom you'll find a comprehensive list of books, scholarly articles and Web sites available. (This site is a page in Dr. Hopper's site also has a wealth of material on the controversial issue of forgetting and remembering experiences of child abuse and statistics, research and resources on child abuse and neglect.)

 Sexually Abused Males: Giving and Receiving Guidance and Hope By Jim Hopper, Ph.D.. Brief stories written by men who were sexually abused. The authors of these stories share with you how they came out of isolation and silence to find help and healing. 1.Finding people, therapists, groups, and organizations that help them recover from sexual abuse. 2.How these healing relationships help them recover and transform their lives. 3.If applicable, how struggles with their masculinity have been related to the healing process.

Women Who Rape The page that Yahoo wouldn't list. A page from the on-line Fathering Magazine. "One can argue about whether there really is a sex abuse crisis. One may question whether every violation of a law regulating sexual behavior really constitutes abuse. One thing is clear, though -- it is usually men who get the blame. Despite repeated submissions, Yahoo has refused to list this page, though they list many pages about men who rape. Someone at Yahoo apparently feels that sexual abuse by females is not a suitable topic for discussion."

Child Abuse: A Personal Story in Poetry A man tells his story, for the first time. To find the right words, he uses poetry and images.

Breaking the Silence: Female Sexual Offenders "Sexual abuse is NOT a gender issue - It is an abuse of power and need for control!" So says the opening of this page. It's a well-written page with reserrarch findings and case studies. There's other good information, too, on the Canadian Breaking the Silence site.

Other sites
(building from Jim Hopper's list, from his resources page)

N.O.M.S.V. - The National Organization On Male Sexual Victimization
     Their mission: "Dedicated to a safe world, we are an organization of diverse individuals, committed through research, education, advocacy and activism to the prevention, treatment and elimination of all forms of sexual victimization of boys and men."

Male Rape
     This page has links to a variety of useful resources on the rape of adult males.

Partners and Allies of Sexual Assault Survivors Resource List
     This page by Kerry Cater, M.S.W., at The Wounded Healer provides a comprehensive list of resources, from Internet mailing lists and newsgroups to newsletters and books, some of which can be ordered online.

Stop Prisoner Rape
     This site has many informative and educational documents, including Rape of Males, an illuminating paper written by SPR's founder, Stephen Donaldson.

Vancouver Society for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse
     This site contains information about the organization, including its mission, goals, and programs.

The Survivor's Page
     "This page will hopefully be a comfort and an outlet for many survivors. The letters, writings, and poetry listed below are by survivors.... If you would like to post your writings on this page, mail them to us, and we will add them to the page." The writings include some moving poems written by male survivors of sexual abuse.

Wounded Boys - Courgageous Men: Institutionalized Child Abuse
     At artist E. Jane Mundy's Web site, a moving testament: "This is a small sampling of an exhibition consisting of photographs and interviews with more than fifty men who as children survived unspeakable physical, mental, emotional and sexual abuse at two Ontario, Canada training schools administered by the Christian Brothers. This is their story in images and words. . ."

Effective Group Therapy With Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse
     Writing from a psychodynamic systems perspective, Mikele Rauch and John W. Jones nicely describe some of the issues and challenges for therapists considering this mode of treatment.

Return to Male CSA Survivors home page


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